


I'll sit on your face and say I love you (then leave you the next day)

by Coldest



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Louis is kind of a whore but he has his reasons, M/M, Pining, Quite a bit of strong language I guess, This is kind of a tragedy oops, Unrequited Love, but no dead people don't worry, fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 07:31:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4382816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coldest/pseuds/Coldest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is a 22 year old boy, old enough to make his own choices.<br/>Harry is a 19 year old boy, stupid enough to fall in love with someone like Louis Tomlinson.</p><p>This goes out to all the boys and girls out there who have trouble coping with feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll sit on your face and say I love you (then leave you the next day)

Louis fell asleep next to some guy, hoping he would be gone by dawn. He wasn't. So Louis kicked him out. The guy even asked for his number, the fucking nerve he had.

 

The radio was playing some tune Louis was young enough not to recognize, but he hummed along anyway. He stepped in his boxer shorts and walked to his window, glad to see that it had started to rain; the weather was always best when it matched your mood. He scanned the room. Empty bottles of liquor, messy sheets and an incredibly disgusting _used_ condom laying on the floor next to his bed. Well, at least he used protection.

 

He was 22, he was fucked up and miserable, but most of all, he was tired.

 

There once had been a riot in his heart, but now the war zone had moved to his head. It was like he had put a stop to all the blood vessels moving to his heart. The blood was gone, there was no life left.

 

The radio was playing a new song now. As Louis listened closely to the sound of the man's voice, he wondered what had happened to him. “ _I could just stay and keep praying for things to get better.. But I will not bother building a pool I'll never swim in..”_

 

Louis thought that was kind of a sad thing to sing about.

 

♥

Hands buried deep inside the pockets of his gray hoodie, Louis dared make his way through the rain. He had thought about just staying inside the whole day, but his hope of maybe picking someone new up was bigger than the need to hide. The chances of picking someone up in the middle of the day were rather small, but what else could a boy do?

 

He felt his phone vibrating from where it was resting inside his back pocket, and Louis almost didn't pick up. Almost.

“Harry.” Louis sighed. This was the fucking fourth time that boy had called him. They had met at a club and Louis had wanted to take him home and _wreck_ him, until no trace of innocence was left. But then Harry told Louis how he just didn't do one night stands, but how he would love to go on a date sometime. Louis had never fled that fast. What remained a mystery though, is how exactly Harry got a hold of his phone number. And he wasn't going to just _ask_ him, because that would mean making conversation and that just wasn't Louis' thing. Especially not with someone who was obviously interested in more than just a quick fuck.

“Hey, how are you? I was thinking that we could maybe grab some coffee? The weather sucks today anyway, so, yeah, you want to?”

Louis pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Sorry, Harry, I can't.”

It remained silent for a couple of seconds, and then, “oh.” The disappointment was evident in his voice and Louis tried his best not to feel too guilty. He obviously wasn't trying hard enough because he felt like a total douche.

“I've got to go now. I'll see you around, yeah?” Louis hung up the phone before the other boy could answer.

 

♥

Louis felt like he was going crazy. He kept bumping into Harry in the weirdest of places. (A fucking cemetery though? What the fuck?) And Harry always, _always,_ tried to talk to Louis. And Louis may have been a bit of a bitch at times, but he wasn't rude. So he responded sometimes, with a nod of the head, a smile or a simple _“yes,”_ but Harry just didn't seem to get the message. Or maybe he did but he just didn't want to give in. Either way, Louis had had more boys in his bed that week than normally, so overall it was still kind of a good week.

It was when he was smoking a cigarette after his shift at the restaurant, leaning against the brick wall and looking nonchalant as ever, that it all went to shit.

“I want you to fuck me.” And _what?_

Louis looked up, only to see -surprise- Harry Styles standing in front of him. All pigeon toed and with his hands clasped in front of his body. The boy even had flowers in his hair.

“What?” He asked, lips starting to pull up into a smirk.

Harry bit his lip. “Come on, just take me home already.”

Louis took one last drag of his cigarette before throwing it on the ground and putting it out with the front of his shoe.“We both know that isn't what you truly want.”

Harry rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand, looking so insecure. “Just because it isn't everything I want doesn't mean I don't want it.”

“What happened to mister _'I'm too classy for one night stands'_?”

“Just forget I said that okay? I promise I'm not gonna force you to cuddle me afterward or make me breakfast. I know you don't want me like that.”

 _I don't want anyone like that._ He almost said it. But he didn't because it was none of his business.

So Louis made a decision and before he could change his mind, he motioned for Harry to come along.

 

♥

Harry Styles was a good lay. He was responsive, and rather submissive. A pleaser. The only complaint Louis had was that he was still lying in Louis' bed. And he probably _should've_ kicked him out,but Harry was just so _funny_ when he was stoned.

Harry was giggling like a madman when suddenly his eyes went wide. He turned his body to Louis, gripping the sheets tight in his fists. “Louis. They're not going to grow bananas any longer.”

Louis snorted. “And why is that?”

It was obvious that Harry was doing everything he could to keep the smile from his face. “Because they're long enough already!” He exclaimed, all giggly and wide-eyed. He rolled over, grasping his stomach and almost falling off the bed because he was laughing so hard.

Louis wasn't, laughing that is, but he was definitely extremely endeared. He would never admit it though.

 

♥

The days went by like that. Harry coming over at random times, Louis fucking him into oblivion, and after that they would always smoke weed. It was fun, simple. Louis loved every single moment of it. Harry's little gasps whenever Louis fucked him, Harry's little giggles whenever he would tell the world's worst pun while having sex. Smoking weed with Harry was a lot of fun too, the conversations not really leading to anything, just useless banter most of the time.

Louis didn't really kiss Harry in the beginning, but it was starting to happen more often now. Whenever Harry left Louis' apartment, to meet up with some guys Louis never really bothered to learn the names of, he pressed a soft kiss to Louis' lips. He did that whenever he entered the apartment, too. And sometimes while fucking.

Louis was kind of iffy about the kissing in the beginning, but he had grown to like it, love it even. Harry's lips were just so soft, like little pink pillows. Or maybe cotton candy, Louis wasn't sure.

Then one day when Harry came over, he pushed Louis away. He told Louis his grandmother had died and it didn't feel right having sex.

Louis almost asked him why he bothered to come if he hadn't come to fuck.

“She was like the only person I've ever known who just, I don't know. She just _understood_ me. She meant the world to me, Lou.” He smiled. Louis thought his smile looked a little sad. Maybe everyone had sadness inside them, even Harry Styles with the fucking flowers in his hair. Maybe people like Harry just had a better way of coping with the sadness than people like Louis. Maybe.

“I'm sorry.” Louis didn't know what else to say. He felt like touching Harry but he didn't.

“Could we just cuddle tonight?”

Louis flinched. He didn't want to. He really, really didn't want to. “I don't think that's a good idea, Harry.”

Harry gritted his teeth. “Why not? Expecting someone else tonight?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Harry stood up from where he was seated on the couch, crossing his arms, looking sadder than ever. “I know you're like basically a fucking whore, don't pretend you're not. You fuck everything that has a hole in it.”

“Get the fuck out.”

Harry laughed, but it didn't sound like him at all. “Why? Can't handle the truth?”

Now Louis stood up as well, somehow hovering over Harry even though he was shorter than him. “Get the fuck out or you'll end up next to your fucking grandmother.” He spit out.

The regret came almost instantly. “Harry..” He tried, but it was too late. Harry was already out of the apartment, sprinting down the stairs. “I'm sorry, please, Harry!”

Louis never ran after him and that regret came just a minute too late.

♥

 

He didn't see Harry for almost two months after that.

Two months was enough for Louis to realise how much he cared for that boy. So he called Harry, asking if they could meet up somewhere to talk. Harry said yes, of course he did.

They went to Starbucks, Louis ordering a plain black coffee and Harry some fruity smoothie drink. And they talked and Louis apologized and Harry did too.

“I think I like you like, more than a bit?” Louis confessed, hands shaking in his lap. He had never done this, he didn't know the rules. What he did know is that he would put himself through a million awkward situations if that meant he could have Harry.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, fiddling with the green straw in his drink.

“I think I could be like, in love with you?” His voice sounded steady and sure, but that wasn't how he felt. At all.

Harry closed his eyes and smiled. His smile was sad again. “Lou, I'm sorry but I'm kind of seeing someone right now?”

Louis' heart dropped to his fucking _shoes_ , embarrassment and jealousy and rejection and so much _hurt_ coursing through his veins.

“We can be friends?”

He waved Harry goodbye and only looked back once.

He didn't cry that night, and he didn't cry after he had seen Harry in town, holding hands with a very handsome man. It was probably for the best anyway. Louis couldn't have ever treated Harry like he deserved to be treated.

And even though he was hurt, in a way, he felt like Harry had left nothing but positivity in his life. He stopped sleeping around, just didn't feel like it anymore, and he ate more fruit, because he knew Harry would be proud of him. The only thing that had gotten worse was the drinking but he harmed nobody, so all was good.

And every single night he laid in bed, all he could think about was green eyes and dimples and glossy, bouncy curls. It was probably for the best anyway. Louis Tomlinson wasn't made to love.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for reading  
> Please keep in mind that English is not my first language, and I haven't written a lot of fics, so please bear with me hha :)  
> This is based on the song 'Pessimist' by 'Tatt'  
> 


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